Have I made a mistake? I moved from the comfort of my home city St. Louis, MO to this brand new city Sacramento, CA. I have been here for about 3 weeks and I sometimes wonder was this the right thing to do. Was this what God really wanted for me and my family.
Unhappy
Sometimes I find myself extremely down and emotionally tired. Like I need to take a deep breath but I can't. I want to cry but no tears appear. This is not supposed to be! Unhappiness was supposed to be far from this reality. The plan was to move here and I would get a great job and we would buy a house and live happily ever after. So far this has proven to be a journey that is not so clean cut.
Job Ha! this job market is in the toilet just like in St. Louis.
Happily ever after Ha! Unfortunately it is hard to be a happy family when a member of the family is working the night shift. And ohh the night shift is a doozie! No sleep or Less Sleep leads to grumpiness and ignorance. Also by being on an opposite schedule as the rest of the world their is no room for family time.
So What do I do?
Do I whine and complaint?
Do I Pout and stomp my feet?
Do I cry and shut down?
HaHaHa You will soon find out that is not me! I will:
Fight
Rejoice and
Praise
I will live my new life and it may not be at this moment a Happily Ever After One but it will Watch and You will see.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, July 8, 2010
A Spirit of Excellence
A Spirit of Excellence (How You Can Instill this in Your Child)
Daniel 6:3 (Amplified Bible)
3Then this Daniel was distinguished above the presidents and the satraps because an excellent spirit was in him, and the king thought to set him over the whole realm.
The Spirit of Excellence is a quality I want my son to possess. I want my son to be more like Daniel so that one day he too will be asked to be in Leadership. I am having difficulty finding a way to instill this quality in him. Instead he is happy with mediocrity and complacency. He strives for just enough and not enough at the same time. My son is a good kid but he has trouble focusing on simple tasks and putting his all in anything that he does from sports to washing up. He will do a task partially and be satisfied with the lack luster results. My dream is what most mothers want for their kids; a well-rounded, successful individual. An individual that lives his life for God and keeps all the rest of the mess behind him. So how do you teach this to a child? What drives a child to stive for the best? Children like Aleck Greven the author of the manuscript "How to Talk to Girls" or Amiya Alexander a girl that has a dream about a pink bus and dance studio and makes that dream come alive or the child T.V. stars and musicians, these children exemplify exactly how I want my son to be.
In this article on moms.gather.com, "Teaching Your Child to Have Passions, Pursue Excellence." Author Vicky Envoy explains that listening to your child and encouraging your child to pursue ONE activity of interest is a great way to instill excellence and passion. She states that most children that are extraordinary are usually extraordinary in One area such as: piano, tennis, golf etc.
Patti Holmes Gives Steps to Building an Attitude Toward Excellence some of the steps include:
- Choose to Have a Positive Mental Attitude
- Building an Appreciation of yourself
- Develop the Quality of Enthusiasm
- Set Goals
I really enjoyed both of these authors and will definitely take their advice and see if I can apply their principles to my son. I will also begin praying for my son in this area, specifically refrencing 1 Corinthians 10:31 (Amplified Bible) in my prayer.
31So then, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you may do, do all for the honor and glory of God.
I will keep you guys posted on my son's progress and if you have any tips or advice feel free to contribute with a comment.
www.pattiholmes.com |
Monday, January 18, 2010
No Negro Dialect
I know this is late in the headlines but I am just hearing about it. And I do have something to say!!
What is going on with this Senator Harry Reid's so called racist comment and How does he differ from Bill Cosby's comments?
Senator Harry Reid
"He [Reid] was wowed by Obama's oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama -- a 'light-skinned' African American 'with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,' " Halperin and Heilemann say.
-Harry Reid-http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/01/09/obama.reid/index.html
Mr. Bill Cosby
"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. ... Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. ... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"
-Bill Cosby 2004-http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=38565
The definition of racist from dictionary.com states: noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
At first glance, reading Senator Reid's comment I would have to disagree that he intended to be racist and malicious toward the President. But after careful examination of the definition for Racist from dictionary.com it is clear that the statement was racist. The statement takes on the belief that a negro dialect is not equal to or even superior to Caucasian speech. And this type of speech is not capable of achieving political or social advances. And since the president is able to speak without this dialect he is a good candidate for Presidency of the United States of America.
So what about Mr. Cosbys comments on the speech of certain Black Americans. According to the same definition his comments are no doubt racist. It is clear in his statment that he sees hisself separate from the individuals he is reffering too (Even though they have the same skin and maybe (who knows) decend from the same origin). he draws a distinct line between him and they or shall i say "These people." And his way is the right way or shall I say the English way!
Who are the English? Why are all races in this supposed melting pot made to adhere to one norm. It is believed that people of different cultures and influences other than Anglo American are suppose to drop their whole make up and transform into an Anglo American. That doesn't make sense to me, I thought the whole idea of a free country was to encourage freedom and diversity. I don't belive you can be truely diverse if you only see one way of behaving and speaking as the Right Way!
But I too find myself trying to adhere to this one way mentality. I find myself trying to speak proper English and do away with slang or Black America's speech as much as I can. When I see the reality shows that focus on people in the south and I hear their speech I find myself shunning at their heavy accent. I also find myself correcting my son when he says something that has even an incremmint of slang in it. I aslo find myself changing my speach when I speak to someone in authority no matter what race.
This is no doubt fostering the racist sentiment that the Black way is not the right way, and that negro speech is not worthy of political or social advancement. To make it in the elite you must speak proper English.
These thought patterns aren't too much differnt than those adopted back in the day, when it was thought that having the slightest brown tone to your skin rendered you invalid for anything but servitude.
In my opinion, Senator Reid didn't need to apologize for his statements. His statements are racist yes but this country is based on racist ideology and practices. He was only stating what others including myself adhere to, the unspoken rules of getting ahead. "To get in, You must fit in. And to fit in you must, look, speak and behave as close to the "IN" as possible."
What is going on with this Senator Harry Reid's so called racist comment and How does he differ from Bill Cosby's comments?
Senator Harry Reid
"He [Reid] was wowed by Obama's oratorical gifts and believed that the country was ready to embrace a black presidential candidate, especially one such as Obama -- a 'light-skinned' African American 'with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one,' " Halperin and Heilemann say.
-Harry Reid-http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/01/09/obama.reid/index.html
Mr. Bill Cosby
"They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: 'Why you ain't,' 'Where you is' ... And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. ... Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. ... You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth!"
-Bill Cosby 2004-http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=38565
The definition of racist from dictionary.com states: noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
At first glance, reading Senator Reid's comment I would have to disagree that he intended to be racist and malicious toward the President. But after careful examination of the definition for Racist from dictionary.com it is clear that the statement was racist. The statement takes on the belief that a negro dialect is not equal to or even superior to Caucasian speech. And this type of speech is not capable of achieving political or social advances. And since the president is able to speak without this dialect he is a good candidate for Presidency of the United States of America.
So what about Mr. Cosbys comments on the speech of certain Black Americans. According to the same definition his comments are no doubt racist. It is clear in his statment that he sees hisself separate from the individuals he is reffering too (Even though they have the same skin and maybe (who knows) decend from the same origin). he draws a distinct line between him and they or shall i say "These people." And his way is the right way or shall I say the English way!
Who are the English? Why are all races in this supposed melting pot made to adhere to one norm. It is believed that people of different cultures and influences other than Anglo American are suppose to drop their whole make up and transform into an Anglo American. That doesn't make sense to me, I thought the whole idea of a free country was to encourage freedom and diversity. I don't belive you can be truely diverse if you only see one way of behaving and speaking as the Right Way!
But I too find myself trying to adhere to this one way mentality. I find myself trying to speak proper English and do away with slang or Black America's speech as much as I can. When I see the reality shows that focus on people in the south and I hear their speech I find myself shunning at their heavy accent. I also find myself correcting my son when he says something that has even an incremmint of slang in it. I aslo find myself changing my speach when I speak to someone in authority no matter what race.
This is no doubt fostering the racist sentiment that the Black way is not the right way, and that negro speech is not worthy of political or social advancement. To make it in the elite you must speak proper English.
These thought patterns aren't too much differnt than those adopted back in the day, when it was thought that having the slightest brown tone to your skin rendered you invalid for anything but servitude.
In my opinion, Senator Reid didn't need to apologize for his statements. His statements are racist yes but this country is based on racist ideology and practices. He was only stating what others including myself adhere to, the unspoken rules of getting ahead. "To get in, You must fit in. And to fit in you must, look, speak and behave as close to the "IN" as possible."
Monday, December 14, 2009
God Saved Me
My son's father told me he tested positive for HIV. My heart dropped as he uttered those words to me. I wondered how long he had the disease and how he contracted it. I assumed it was his drug use and prostitution that yielded this fate. We had not been intimate for over a year but I had to make sure this wasn't also my fate. I went that same week to get tested and to my delight I was in the clear, I tested negative. While visiting his mother she explained to me that a social worker came to the house to inform them about the disease and the programs that he has access to now that he has contracted HIV. That conversation confirmed that he indeed had HIV. I didn't feel sorry for him, I thought he deserved it because all of the horrible things he had done to me and his family.
One morning, as I was getting ready for school I heard a knock at my door. I went to the door and it was him, my son's father. This came as a surprise, it was a surprise because he was legally banned from being anywhere near me and my son. The legal piece of paper didn't seem to stop him from knocking on my door. I asked him what he wanted and he said he was cold and it was raining and he needed at least some clean dry socks. He was homeless and living on the streets. Even though he had put me through hell, at times I still felt sorry for him and still had a connection to him which in turn, had given me a soft heart towards him. That morning he was able to convince me to crack the door and lend him some socks. So As soon as I started to open the door the lock was turning he then proceeded to kick open the door and bombarded his way into my living room. I was hysterically yelling at him to get out of my house. At this point the door was still opened and my son was sound asleep in his bed. As I turn to find the phone to call 911 he lunges at me and some how tackles me to the ground. While on the ground he is telling me that it isn't fair that he has HIV and I don't. He wants me forever and he was going to give it to me. As he is talking to me I am yelling at him and trying to get off the floor. I fought back, with all my might I threw punch after punch and kick after kick. But with every blow it seemed his grip got stronger until he pinned me down so hard I couldn't move. I was still screaming at the top of my lungs for help. I turned my head and I saw that the door was still opened and could see outside. As he forced himself inside of me me I could see people walking passed my door headed out of their apartments to start their uneventful day. I yelled for help louder and louder, and not one person stopped to see who was behind this terrified voice asking for help. With every moment that went by I grew more and more afraid that he would spew his juices inside of me. I thought if this happened I would be dead for sure. I started to feel defeated and began to quiet down, all the fighting and yelling was getting me nowhere. As I got quiet it seemed like time just stopped, everything around me got quiet and the room grew fuzzy. I heard a voice. I listened and the voice told me to call Izayah's name. It was like a dream, I responded to the voice telling this unknown voice that I had been yelling his name and he hasn't gotten up and I don't think I can yell anymore. The voice said you don't need to yell even if you whisper just say Izayah's name. The room began to look normal again and time seemed to start again. It was like someone had the event on a stop watch and stopped and started the time at will. I took a deep breath and nothing came out of my mouth but a faint whisper. I whispered Izayah's name. And my 3 year old son had gotten up from his slumber, armed with his yellow water gun and standing with his legs apart in a policeman stance. He pointed his play pistol with both of his hands at his daddy yelling get off of my mama. His father turned looked at his son and scrambles off of me. His father looked like he had been in a trance and began to come back to reality. I pick Izayah up and run to find the phone. In that moment his father was gone. I sat in my room crying, I gathered myself and began my day like nothing happened. I waited 30 days to get tested because I was told that It could take 30 to 60 days from time of contact before the disease would appear on the test. After the 30 days, the test was NEGATIVE. I was still anxious each day eating away at me not knowing if I had this disease that would change my life. I went again after 60 days it was NEGATIVE. Even after the 60 days I was still anxious and so I kept going every 6 months and each time it was NEGATIVE. It wasn't until years later I realized that it was God. God was the one with the stopwatch actually talking to me. God shielded me from contracting HIV. Even though I wasn't Saved, never been baptized and only attended church I was still a child of God, God still cared about me. God placed me behind his protective embrace.
A couple of months ago I learned that My son's father might have had HIV before I met him. I ran into his brother at the barbershop he told me that he wanted to tell me back in those days that I should be careful but couldn't bring himself to say it. He told me the health inspector was coming to his door looking for his brother when me and his brother were still a couple. He learned that his brothers girlfriend before me had contracted HIV and he insisted that I must have it too. While leaving the barbershop all I could do was Thank GOD!! because he not only shielded me while I was under attack but shielded me throughout my whole relationship. Every time I put myself in danger God was there. He protected me. I am a piece of a bigger puzzle. He saved me not just for me but because my story, my skills, my knowledge, my heart something about me, in some way will help put this puzzle together. I would like to know what is your story? What is your puzzle piece?
One morning, as I was getting ready for school I heard a knock at my door. I went to the door and it was him, my son's father. This came as a surprise, it was a surprise because he was legally banned from being anywhere near me and my son. The legal piece of paper didn't seem to stop him from knocking on my door. I asked him what he wanted and he said he was cold and it was raining and he needed at least some clean dry socks. He was homeless and living on the streets. Even though he had put me through hell, at times I still felt sorry for him and still had a connection to him which in turn, had given me a soft heart towards him. That morning he was able to convince me to crack the door and lend him some socks. So As soon as I started to open the door the lock was turning he then proceeded to kick open the door and bombarded his way into my living room. I was hysterically yelling at him to get out of my house. At this point the door was still opened and my son was sound asleep in his bed. As I turn to find the phone to call 911 he lunges at me and some how tackles me to the ground. While on the ground he is telling me that it isn't fair that he has HIV and I don't. He wants me forever and he was going to give it to me. As he is talking to me I am yelling at him and trying to get off the floor. I fought back, with all my might I threw punch after punch and kick after kick. But with every blow it seemed his grip got stronger until he pinned me down so hard I couldn't move. I was still screaming at the top of my lungs for help. I turned my head and I saw that the door was still opened and could see outside. As he forced himself inside of me me I could see people walking passed my door headed out of their apartments to start their uneventful day. I yelled for help louder and louder, and not one person stopped to see who was behind this terrified voice asking for help. With every moment that went by I grew more and more afraid that he would spew his juices inside of me. I thought if this happened I would be dead for sure. I started to feel defeated and began to quiet down, all the fighting and yelling was getting me nowhere. As I got quiet it seemed like time just stopped, everything around me got quiet and the room grew fuzzy. I heard a voice. I listened and the voice told me to call Izayah's name. It was like a dream, I responded to the voice telling this unknown voice that I had been yelling his name and he hasn't gotten up and I don't think I can yell anymore. The voice said you don't need to yell even if you whisper just say Izayah's name. The room began to look normal again and time seemed to start again. It was like someone had the event on a stop watch and stopped and started the time at will. I took a deep breath and nothing came out of my mouth but a faint whisper. I whispered Izayah's name. And my 3 year old son had gotten up from his slumber, armed with his yellow water gun and standing with his legs apart in a policeman stance. He pointed his play pistol with both of his hands at his daddy yelling get off of my mama. His father turned looked at his son and scrambles off of me. His father looked like he had been in a trance and began to come back to reality. I pick Izayah up and run to find the phone. In that moment his father was gone. I sat in my room crying, I gathered myself and began my day like nothing happened. I waited 30 days to get tested because I was told that It could take 30 to 60 days from time of contact before the disease would appear on the test. After the 30 days, the test was NEGATIVE. I was still anxious each day eating away at me not knowing if I had this disease that would change my life. I went again after 60 days it was NEGATIVE. Even after the 60 days I was still anxious and so I kept going every 6 months and each time it was NEGATIVE. It wasn't until years later I realized that it was God. God was the one with the stopwatch actually talking to me. God shielded me from contracting HIV. Even though I wasn't Saved, never been baptized and only attended church I was still a child of God, God still cared about me. God placed me behind his protective embrace.
A couple of months ago I learned that My son's father might have had HIV before I met him. I ran into his brother at the barbershop he told me that he wanted to tell me back in those days that I should be careful but couldn't bring himself to say it. He told me the health inspector was coming to his door looking for his brother when me and his brother were still a couple. He learned that his brothers girlfriend before me had contracted HIV and he insisted that I must have it too. While leaving the barbershop all I could do was Thank GOD!! because he not only shielded me while I was under attack but shielded me throughout my whole relationship. Every time I put myself in danger God was there. He protected me. I am a piece of a bigger puzzle. He saved me not just for me but because my story, my skills, my knowledge, my heart something about me, in some way will help put this puzzle together. I would like to know what is your story? What is your puzzle piece?
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Why Me
I often ask God why me! Why do I have to endure so much and receive so little. I constently find myself wallowing in dispear and giving up before the fight has begun. And I still ask why me! When I ask others why me why am I always enduring storms. They respond that as a child of God you will endeaur trials and tribulations. That comment (no matter how many times it has been uttered) has always went over my head. I still couldn't understand why "I" had to continously have trials and tribulations while my peers around me seem to be moving along just fine.
It wasn't until Saturday I was actually presented with an answer that didn't baffle me. In Bible Study Saturday afternoon we read Hebrews 12:3-17. It broke the "why me" down quite well. It basically stated that as being a child of God you have to be disciplined such as you would discipline your own children when they aren't doing the right things. He loves us as we are his children and when we are out of line he has to "spare the rod." LOL!
So in reading these verses I must reflect on what I am doing that is not in line with what God is trying to teach me. It has to be something I am missing in order for me to continue to get these ass whoopings. Sometimes it seems like a never ending switch session,One Swat after Another! While I learn what it is I am doing wrong I am now going to stop saying WHY ME! I now know "why" but now I need to know the "WHAT". But as I figure this out I will continue to thank God for loving me enough to care about the road I am walking and the mistakes I am making.
It wasn't until Saturday I was actually presented with an answer that didn't baffle me. In Bible Study Saturday afternoon we read Hebrews 12:3-17. It broke the "why me" down quite well. It basically stated that as being a child of God you have to be disciplined such as you would discipline your own children when they aren't doing the right things. He loves us as we are his children and when we are out of line he has to "spare the rod." LOL!
So in reading these verses I must reflect on what I am doing that is not in line with what God is trying to teach me. It has to be something I am missing in order for me to continue to get these ass whoopings. Sometimes it seems like a never ending switch session,One Swat after Another! While I learn what it is I am doing wrong I am now going to stop saying WHY ME! I now know "why" but now I need to know the "WHAT". But as I figure this out I will continue to thank God for loving me enough to care about the road I am walking and the mistakes I am making.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Child or Man ?
I have noticed lately that men act like children! I don't understand why God wired men the way he did. After careful thought and observation it has come to my attention that there is little difference between a child and a man. The main difference is HEIGHT!
Think about it............................................................................................
A man wants a woman to cook a meal and serve it to him. Not much different than a one year old child that you have to cook for and serve. Hmmmm....................................................................................................
A man rarely cleans up after himself leaving a trail of clutter everywhere he goes, he assumes that the woman is a personal maid that is supposed to follow behind them cleaning up their droppings. Reminds me of a 2 year old that plays with a toy and doesn't put it back. Or a 5 year old that leaves their clothes in the middle of the floor awaiting for mom to pick them up.
Hmmmm....................................................................................................
Or the way a man whines, pouts and sometimes throws full blown tantrums when something doesn't go their way. Or they don't get something they want. Have you ever had a 2 year old whine, pout and fall out when you tell him no?
How similar..................................................................................................
What about when that man wants to "play with your xxxxx" and can't understand why you are tired from cooking, cleaning, working and taking care of babies all day and may not have the energy to play along with him. Makes me think of that 4 year old that wants to play with mom and can't understand how tired she is.
Hmmmmmm................................................................................................
Or when you can't communicate effectively with that man because he doesn't listen, can't or won't follow directions and has a short attention span. They say children have short attention spans also and they have a very hard time listening and following directions.
Not tryin to put men under the bus or anything but sounds very similar to me. Woman are the rock and glue that hold together a family. Men can continue to kidd themselves and think that woman are beneath them in the family food chain. It is time for men to act like adults and take responsibility for themselves. I love men but why do they have to act like children.
Think about it............................................................................................
A man wants a woman to cook a meal and serve it to him. Not much different than a one year old child that you have to cook for and serve. Hmmmm....................................................................................................
A man rarely cleans up after himself leaving a trail of clutter everywhere he goes, he assumes that the woman is a personal maid that is supposed to follow behind them cleaning up their droppings. Reminds me of a 2 year old that plays with a toy and doesn't put it back. Or a 5 year old that leaves their clothes in the middle of the floor awaiting for mom to pick them up.
Hmmmm....................................................................................................
Or the way a man whines, pouts and sometimes throws full blown tantrums when something doesn't go their way. Or they don't get something they want. Have you ever had a 2 year old whine, pout and fall out when you tell him no?
How similar..................................................................................................
What about when that man wants to "play with your xxxxx" and can't understand why you are tired from cooking, cleaning, working and taking care of babies all day and may not have the energy to play along with him. Makes me think of that 4 year old that wants to play with mom and can't understand how tired she is.
Hmmmmmm................................................................................................
Or when you can't communicate effectively with that man because he doesn't listen, can't or won't follow directions and has a short attention span. They say children have short attention spans also and they have a very hard time listening and following directions.
Not tryin to put men under the bus or anything but sounds very similar to me. Woman are the rock and glue that hold together a family. Men can continue to kidd themselves and think that woman are beneath them in the family food chain. It is time for men to act like adults and take responsibility for themselves. I love men but why do they have to act like children.
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